Danger in the Bathroom?

There has been a lot of rhetoric about the dangers of pedophiles and other sexual deviants threatening women and children in bathrooms. The political right has very adamantly decided that pedophiles will exploit transgender rights to gain access to bathrooms so they can prey on children. Some of the more extreme right have gone as far as to insinuate that transgender women are those very pedophiles you have to protect your kids from. This is absolutely not true in any way nor is there a shred of evidence to back up these claims. I am not an official expert on pedophiles but I think I know quite a bit about them because I have been a victim of a pedophile. My father was a pedophile and I think it is worth exploring just how he operated to paint a clearer picture of the evil we are being told to fear.

 We do need to fear pedophiles. Make no mistake, they are absolutely monsters and we need to protect our children from them. However, I can assure you they are not transgender people or pretending to be transgender people to gain access to bathrooms. They are much more insidious than that and in general a lot smarter. A pedophile is usually not looking for a one-time victim, they are usually looking for a child they can dominate and control with fear for more than one molestation.  Looking for pedophiles in bathrooms is not just hurting transgender people, it is also hurting the parents of children who are being molested in the places where the pedophiles actually hide in plain sight.
My father raped me for most of my childhood and in addition to myself he had other children he was doing the same thing to. His weapon was fear. He used it to control his victims. In my case, he threatened me with the dark, and claimed that he controlled everything that went bump in the night. If I left the bed, the darkness, ghosts, aliens, and monsters would get me. It took more than 10 years to overcome that fear he instilled in me, once he was no longer in the picture. Another girl he was molesting, he threatened to kill her mother if she told. He knew how to control us and he didn’t need to lurk around woman’s bathrooms to find victims. My father, as most pedophiles tend to be, was very charming and had no problems finding women to date who had children.

The danger is not in bathrooms but rather it will come in the form of a family member, or a camp councilor, or even a minister. As parents, you need to be thoroughly looking at anyone who has unrestricted access to your children. Stop wasting time worrying about transgender people because they are no threat and the pedophiles are not going to be buying dresses in hopes of gaining access to your kids. They are not pretending to be transgender. However, they love the fact that you are looking for them in the last place they would ever be.

I stated above that I was a victim and there are still wounds from that aspect of my childhood. When anyone insinuates that transgender women are a danger to your children and claims we are those pedophiles, it hurts more than I can express. It is like all the hard work I have done to deny my father his victory over me was for nothing. Wherever his soul anguishes, these claims would make him smile and he honestly does not deserve that reprieve from what he has done.

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